March 6, 1998

I think friends are an essential part of everyone's life, but especially when you're in junior high. Friends make or break you.

Until 5th grade, I didn't have any friends. I wasn't a snob, I was just extremely shy and didn't have the courage to hang around anybody. I was pretty friendly, though, I guess. When the girls needed someone to play Spud with, shy Vanessa, who had no friends, and would be GLAD, undoubtedly[,] to play, always accepted the invitation. And before we got clique-y here in the 7th grade, and before she became immensely popular, Kayleigh Quick invited me over to her house in 2nd grade. I bet if I ever brought THAT up, Kayleigh would deny it profusely (!)

Then, in 5th grade, I got chummy with Lana Carroll and Belle Oberst. We were best friends, but tense ones. Lana was always whispering because she knew I hated it. To me, it seemed she was trying to hog Belle, who always ended up stuck in the middle of two bickering friends.

I finally got tired of being the odd one out, and pressed the issue of "best friends" enough to cause a huge explosion. OK, a huge fight.

Seeing as how tight the three of us were, this news rocked the 5th grade world, and girls who were slowly gaining image and becoming popular... tried to make amends, in vain, might I add.

I spent more lonely days on the playground, while Belle, who sided with Lana, went around with her nose in the air. (Lana's nose was past the air).

Now, it may sound as though I am placing all the blame on them, as all humans are bound to do. But you must believe me. I started the fight, yes, but being on pins & needles, we would have fought eventually, given our situations. I just moved up the starting date. In short, I swear I did nothing really WRONG.

It was Babe Smithson who I really have to thank. If it weren't for her, I'd probably be moping around this very minute.

It was at recess, and I was scuffling around, feeling sorry for myself near where Babe, Ivy Nelson (she doesn't go here anymore), Francine, and Tess were playing.

"Vanessa," Babe called, "want to come over here and play?"

Did I ever! I leaped at the invitation, and gradually became a friend. I, at times, called them, frequently ate with them, et cetera. In short, I was having a grand old time.

More and more often, L & B would hang around us, watching as we Cracked the Whip. They finally got up the guts to ask to play. And so, eventually, they too became a part of my routine.

Eventually, though we did not become "friends," by mutual agreement, we accepted one another.

To make a LONG story short (skip a few parts here, delete something there...) here I am with Tess and Francine.

As I was saying, make or break. You NEED friends in junior high to be somewhat accepted, somewhat cool. With my two friends, I am accepted, if not The Queen of Coolness. Friends show that you are liked, that you're someone. I feel proud when Fran comes over to talk to me in math, or when I'm in the middle of them in Mass. It kinda displays that you're REALLY well liked, ya know? Geez, here I go repeating myself. Must be 'cause I'm tired. It's 10:30 on the dot. Glad it's Friday!

Night-night,
Sleepyhead