January 8, 1998

Dear Di,

I feel as though I'm leading a double life. At school, and in my letters to Francine, I come across as a girl who's pining for you-know- who. I almost can't believe how I poured out my heart and soul to FRANCINE!! She cares about my problems as much as she cares for liver. It doesn't matter to her that I'm hurt and confused. She's in her own little world that has only herself, Karl Isaacson, and donuts. Of course, this was all before I had YOU. So I can't really tell her the truth-- it'd go in one ear and out the other. And Tess-- she's too much of a tomboy to be REALLY interested. That leaves only you who REALLY cares. From now on, I have to downplay the Eli situation. I'll pretend I don't really care, that it doesn't matter. Of course, I'm bound to mess up & tell all to Francine. But then I'll silently remind myself she doesn't care squat about me. Or about my problems. Francine's great aside from being violent (I receive a swat or more from her when I insult her, or she'll be really steamed & chase me across the playground 'till she catches me & jerks me around), pushy, rude, too straightforward, greedy, & self-centered. (Like me). What's there to like? She's funny, and admits she's fat & lazy.

So, now you know why I feel like I'm leading a double life. No one would guess that Vanessa Waltz would be this troubled. And neither can I!

Sincerely,
Vanessa